I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
