the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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