Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
