I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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