forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
