Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I think your dad took our porno
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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