well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
