Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
