the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
sarcasm needs its own font
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
