this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
