Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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