i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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