I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
