Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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