your parents love me but you hate me
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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