I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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