I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
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