She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
