I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
