p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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