Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
