this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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