If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I think my moral compass just broke
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