Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
