Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
this boner is exhausting
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
