Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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