So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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