i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
no you cant smoke seaweed
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
