i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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