Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize