My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
