The best revenge is premature balding
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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