Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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