just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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