i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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