a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
