I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
