Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
