I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
