And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
They are going to name an STD after you.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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