stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
