i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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