i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
