She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Semen is not good for contacts.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
