I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
