A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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