all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
