i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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