I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
