on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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