I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
