called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
