Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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